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Monday, 8 August 2011

ARTICLE: Clooney-ism

Yep. Clooney-ism. A lifestyle named after the famous actor George Clooney. It's something I'd like to adopt in my life.



What is Clooneyism exactly? Well. Let's find out about the man. We all know about his acting acumen, and that he produces and directs as well. But Clooney has another interesting quality. He's a bachelor. Well. A technical bachelor. He was married once. For four years. To Talia Balsam.



They divorced. After that he promised himself he'll never marry again. Never. Again. So that's why I say he's a bachelor. For someone in his position. It's VERY EASY to get married again. And again. And again. And again. And again. But he didn't. Hollywood relationships never do last, some of them do, but it's a really small percentage. So you have to ask yourself. Is George Clooney not VERY INTELLIGENT in his stance of Non-Marriage? This leads me to the question.

Is marriage really a necessity?!

Yes, I know, not all of us (read, less than 1% of the world's population) are in a vocation where our job is to fall in love with someone else convincingly on-screen in every movie we act in (which is where most divorces start in Hollywood), but for a super cynic like me, this system works out! I know, I know, it's against certain religious laws to have sex outside marriage, and marriage is sacred, and bla bla boooo. Let's be honest with ourselves here. When it comes to sex, people are gonna break rules anyways if they become desperate! For me it's just that, you know, the pressure is not so bad when you're in a steady relationship, than when you're married. I'm not saying DON'T GET MARRIED, if that's your thing, and you're 100% positive that your partner is THEE partner for you and no-one else ever in the universe of space will take his/her place...by all means, go for it. But it just becomes messy once there's kids and accounts shared and then you have to divorce and the property and assets must be split and everyone is pissed with everyone and if you finally find love again you have to go through the whole process, AGAIN?! To prove what? No wonder George didn't wanna get married again! Geez!

So ja. I think Clooney-ism could work. Because I don't see myself EVER ONLY being attracted to ONLY ONE WOMAN FOREVER, EVER. I fall in love everyday! Haha. (Disclaimer: This might one day change, but it's gonna take a seriously epically awesome woman to change that) But seriously. You get used to one person, you date, you fight, you're happy, you get bored, you break up. This is what happens, almost always. Throw in a marriage and some kids somewhere in that formula and you've got a pretty fucked up situation right there. (Throw kids in anywhere and things become messy, ask anyone who's dated single moms!)

Social pressure is responsible for this theory though. We're bombarded with a certain lifestyle all day, everyday in various forms of media. The Perfect Family. One Father. One Mother. A boy kid. A girl kid. A dog. A house. A car. Etc. This is what we all should strive for. That picture-perfect life. But life does NOT work like that. That perfect family is a LIE and you're a fool to believe it. Everyone has issues. Some more than others. But being caught up in chasing that dream and trying to keep with the proverbial Jones' is just a grasping of the wind really. Same with our expectations of love and finding it. I solely blame tv, movies and music for that (and porn if you're a collector of that form of, shall we say, media? Lol.) Life just doesn't happen like that, and you'd think people would be smarter and actually know the difference, but our minds have been so conditioned to certain things that we don't even know what we believe anymore.

But I think I'm going off point.

Social pressure should never dictate what you do, but sadly it does. It tells the lone-wolf that he MUST get a girlfriend, and if he doesn't there's something wrong with him. It tells the girl-on-the-shelf that if she doesn't get a steady man she's not seen as a success, that there's something wrong with her. Don't believe it! You can be happy without having a steady girlfriend and not being married. Ultimately its what makes YOU happy. If you're living your life for other people, then it's not YOUR life anymore! Don't allow others to dictate your path, or say bad things about you and curse you when you don't follow what they want for your life! Yes, heed advice and critque, but don't follow every fad and trend, and don't feel crushed and sad after every crit.

Thinking in this way. Let's take the example of Jacob Zuma, our beloved, read sorry excuse of a, president. He's the flip side of Clooneyism. He practices hornyism and hides behind 'culture' as the legitimacy of his lifestyle. We know the man has five 'legal' 'wives' (I like to use the word 'concubines' for them though) and this is all good and fine, as there are some 'cultures' that practice this multiple wife thing, BUT! BUT BUT BUT BUT! He constantly is sleeping with and has slept with anything that has a functional vagina within a 50m radius and THIS is where his claims of 'culture' fall flat. That's not culture. It's just jasgeid. How can you want to sleep with so many women, unprotected, and not expect shit to hit the fan somewhere! He's a joke. A mockery of this (potentially) great nation.

BUT. Believe it or not, I'm not a judgemental man, (although the previous paragraph strongly contradicts this claim, haha) so I gave it thought. We all know the cons of his sexual lifestyle. But. Are there maybe pros in there somewhere? I mean in the concept. Is the polygamy thing really so bad?

So before I started writing down my thoughts on the subject, I wiki'd the subject, and had my mind literally blown out my skull. It's apparently all the rage in some places/cultures, and there are different types of this madness; 'Polygyny' is what Zuma does. Multiple wives. And it's practised in quite a few other places in the world too. Which is not cool. Then there's a very rare thing called 'Polandry', which is Polygyny inverted, where it's a WOMAN that has multiple HUSBANDS. Now that is truly mind fucking!

Although, I must say that there a few women that do that in the modern age, just without marrying the guys. (they're called Gintoes/Jintus/sluts/hoebags/etc and yes, I know it's unfair that a man can do the exact same and be held in high regard by his peers, and although I don't condone man-whore-ing it's understandable why society thinks of it this way, that's an entire different article on it's own though!)

Then there is the sif, nasty lifestyle called 'group marriages' which is more than one couple sharing each other and that is just plain disgusting I'm not even gonna go into that in detail, wiki it if you're interested, urrrgh!! Seriously? Who does that?!

Anyway. I digress.

The next part of this writing piece will be strictly hypothetical, don't for one moment think I condone polygamy. What I was going to say is, polygamy for me is a way of preventing cheating (except Zuma, that does cheat anyway) and then you have a wife for everything! Like a team! Team Spenelo! One wife to do this. Another to do that. And another to do that! Right! Right? No. Team Spenelo would sadly never materialize. As much as I really, really appreciate female beauty, like a lot, my life is governed on a simple principle. How would I feel if what I'm doing to someone, would be done to me? How would it make me feel? How would I feel in the same situation? Just think, you're a lady in one of these 'marriages' and you have to share your husband and his penis with like 5 other women?! Now. Kinky porn plots aside, that's a pretty disturbing thought and truly makes you understand the phrase, 'the man with the Golden Banana'. The jealousy and the cattishness, nevermind the WTF factor of experiencing that everyday?! No ways. It'll fuck up my brain. And then I think of how I'd feel like if my wife had five husbands including me. That's just too much penis traffic, I'm sorry! I'm not having that! This isn't some japanese bukkake fest! Urrrgh!! Anyway. You see. Sex is a beautiful thing, but as with all things, once you go extreme, things can get very awkward, very quickly. *Quickly puts away the handcuffs, nutella and jelly dildo!* Kidding. I don't own such things!)

So ja. Zuma-ism. NOT. FOR. ME.

Human nature is weird. Attraction appears. Attraction fades. If it happens quickly. It fades quickly. But that's actually better. Because if the attraction takes long to build and to happen and when it finally does solidify, once that breaks off, it can be painful. George Clooney learned this, and he has become the master of having HOT girlfriends! He just broke up with one last month, and is now, dating Stacy frikken Keibler, probably one of the hottest female wrestlers ever to grace WWE. Seriously George, seriously. Now you're just showing off. Let's go through the man's hit list quick:

You already saw Talia Balsam, his first wife, after that he dated Lisa Snowdon for 5 years


After that he dated Sarah Larson for like a year


Then up until very recently he was dating Elisabetta Canalis


And now he's dating this, as stated earlier, Stacy Keibler



You dog you.

In closing. Society likes to put labels on people. Don't let society dictate your life-decisions. They aren't living your life. You are. So be safe. Think before you jump. And enjoy life!

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