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Thursday, 31 May 2012

VIDEO: Opening a beer with a Chainsaw

This one's for all the beer drinkers. If you're looking for different ways of opening your beer, here's a fun (read, super dangerous do NOT try this at home) way to do it!!


*POP*

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

VIDEO: Hula Girl

So, in a world of controversial news and things going awry, it's good to know that there are some uplifting things happening in the world, like in this video for instance. Enjoy

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

VIDEO: Pogo Fail

Just a video of a dude seeing his gat on a pogo stick trying to show off :D

Monday, 28 May 2012

VIDEO: Little Boy and Little Girl

Some fun on your monday :D This little bugger is literally being pushed into the friendzone :D


Friday, 25 May 2012

ARTICLE: Desirable Women = Football League


 Dating a desirable woman is like a being a team in a professional football league.


How on earth, you ask?! Let me explain.

Every desirable woman is like a trophy. The Championship. Even the average mediocre ones are as well, but more so the desirable women. Lots of men use social media to scout talent, for a potential mate. If you are single and you claim to not do this, please stfu and stop lying. Places like twitter have just galvanized my 'Woman is a trophy' anecdote.

At the start of a season, twenty teams all begin on naught points. Each team is different, each team has a unique skill set, some have an illustrious history, some are newer teams, some have pedigree, some have very little, some have lots of money, and thus are better equipped to compete in a cut-throat league where scoring and winning is all that counts. Those who don’t have the financial backing have to make due with clever tactics and luck.

As the season begins, many of the favourites can be spotted by their winning mentality and edge, beating off weaker opponents at will, and they rise to the top of the table, while others have to scrap it out in the middle of the table, to end up neither here nor there and some desperately try to not get relegated, because, you know, being relegated means competing in a lower league with lower standards and rewards. No-one wants that...

During the season your team battles with injuries, and setbacks. Mental strength is key.

Wages must be paid to keep your team happy and playing well, new players must be bought, etc; large amounts of money must be spent in the pursuit of the title.


Sometimes you'll think you're winning a game, then in the dying seconds you'll concede a late goal and you'll drop points, vital points in the pursuit of the title!

YOU have to be weary of the other teams' tactics. Some use the long ball game, some teams pass the ball around a lot and keep possession, other teams are very skillful and tricky, others still are all out attack whilst others play very negatively and defensively.

They might seem like you, but they have a similar goal and on the surface, an old ally is gunning for the same prize, so be weary and circumspect..

One thing is for sure, if you warm the bench, you can’t play, if you don’t play, you can’t shoot, if you don’t shoot, you can’t SCORE, if you can’t score, you can’t win the title.

It’s simple really. Once the season draws to a close, and you have that Championship in your grasp, your team is bruised and battered and tired, but you’re nearly there, that’s when you need to be at your best, it’s at this moment when any team can come and steal the title away from you, BUT THEN…

You win it. The glory and honour of winning the title!! It’s yours! Finally! After all the hard work! You revel in your victory, you parade your trophy around. You wallow in its splendor. You no longer have to dream, it’s here, and it’s YOURS!!

But guess what. Come next season, YOU have to fight off all the other teams, coz NOW, all of them want that trophy, that Championship MORE THAN ANYTHING! This is when your title defense starts, and you have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN.

Can you see what I mean?


So ja. Dating a desirable woman is like a being a team in a professional football league. 






Tuesday, 22 May 2012

VIDEO: SLOW MOOOO ZUMA SMEAR

Because us at Random Arbjects, we take like not-so-seriously, here's a SLOW MO version of the Spear Smearer :D


VIDEO: HORIZONTAL Shower

So. I've had enough of this Zuma business. I've got something MUCH MORE enticing to share with you!!

ITS A HORIZONTAL SHOWER.






YES. You heard right. A HORIZONTAL SHOWER. When I saw the picture, my dirty mind IMMEDIATELY thought: SNAP! FEMALE MASTURBATION STATION, lol. And although this looks cool, I actually prefer showering upright, I'm lazy, but I can't imagine showering on my back, tummy! So ja. These peeps who made this had kinky intentions!! :D

Monday, 21 May 2012

VIDEO: MOCKERY!

So, I've been a bit quiet lately, I've been writing exams over the last week, and I've been without decent internet access, BUT! Now I can share with you guys something I've been wanting to for a while!!

It's a video I recorded at home. My mom was watching her Christian channels on that 'public' part of DSTV, and she flicked over on to this, and called me to watch it. Both she and I believe in God, but THIS is just a mockery.

Sometimes at great church crusades and services, they have what's called an 'altar call', and then the pastor or a similar leader-figure of the church will listen to your what it is that's on your mind, and pray for you and pray about it. Sometimes there'll be a topic for the altar call, like, 'sickness' or 'family struggles' or 'financial issues', etc, and then that is what will be prayed for, or sometimes they'll have an open floor and you can just go up if you have any concern, and the pastor will pray for you. Cool. But sometimes, it can get intense, and the atmosphere will be so wondrous, that the Holy Spirit will enter and, whilst being prayed for, with the pastor 'laying hands' on the person, the person will be so overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, that they collapse and be knocked out for a while. This is the gist of what's happening in this video.

But as it is with modern Commercial Christianity, everything is about sensationalism and money making tactics, so lots of things have to be in the extreme. I won't be touching on a lot of that now, but lets just say that sort of sensationalist mentality is at play here.

This dude looks more like a Grand Master of Chi attacks than a pastor, and he's pushing over of people, the same people, round after round, is laughable. I knew many people like him (not as bad though) in my heavy church days, and they sometimes try to PUSH you over as they pray for you, but what's the use in that?! If the Holy Spirit is not present, why must I fall over? To satisfy a pastors ego? To fool myself into believing something celestial has happened?! Nope. I always followed the example of the lady in the Blue and Yellow outfit (you will see what I mean soon)

But ja, this video is a LOL of note, with running commentary and laughing by my Mom and I. It gets to a part that it looks like a action/sci-fi movie and that this dude is actually Chuck Norris of preaching. Tell me what you think about this whole thing!!

Friday, 11 May 2012

GAME TRAILER: Crysis 3

This came out a while back, and I forgot to share it, but it's a really MIND BLASTING trailer for the next Crysis. It's INSANE!! Just see :D

MAD HIGH QUALITY GRAPHICS, YOR! We've come a long way since Contra :)

Thursday, 10 May 2012

MUSIC VIDEO: Ready To Learn - Brian McKnight

I don't know if you've been following the whole Brian McKnight saga, but here's the prequel:


So yeah, that caused a major outcry from fans because, you know, that's not what Brian McKnight is supposed to sing right?! I thought he was trolling, but he seemed so genuine, BUT after @kalourd shared this next video, I knew for sure, HE'S TROLLING!! :D

I'm STILL LAUGHING!! THAT VAGINA PUPPET!! :D

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

MUSIC VIDEO: Krispy Kreme - Badass

You know, every now and then, a rapper comes along that blows you away. You know, the state hip hop is in, is worrying, but now, here comes a challenger! To challenge all those wannabes in the industry, it's KRISPY KREME!! Get ready!!



I lolled hard!! :D

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

VIDEO: Ewood/Blackburn Chicken

So, yesterday while playing Wigan, Blackburn's newest mascot decided to raid the field!!



One of the Blackburn fan's obviously felt like trolling the world, because that chicken DID NOT put that Blackburn trinket on itself! You have to ask yourself, what next!! A donkey? A goat?! A LION!?! We shall see :D



Monday, 7 May 2012

VIDEO: WTF are we eating?!

So you like processed foods do you. Lazy to cook are you?! Well.....just watch this video about how 'chicken' nuggets are made. You'll insta-mok faster than you can say WTFISTHATTHISISNOTCHICKENWTFITLOOKSLIKESHITFACKITINAPACKET!




The funny thing is, the music playing while this clip plays suggests that this video is somehow supposed to be nice? It's supposed to impress us?! WHAT THE EFF!! It's so disgusting and makes me never want to buy any prepacked-in-a-box chicken/fish/whatevs nuggets/fillets stuff every again!!

Friday, 4 May 2012

VIDEO: What models SHOULD be doing

So! I know there are MANY models who are actually quite clever, and very intellectual, but with the whole Jessica Leandra nonsense happening on Twitter. I'd like to share with you guys what models should be doing instead of being racist and stupido online. They should be doing stuff like this:


That was luscious Kate Upton doing her famous 'Cat Daddy' dance. The vid got kicked off youtube, but then the guy who made it put it on Vimeo, and Youtube allowed it back on, coz it was scoring MAD views :D You go vimeo! And you go Kate Upton, meow indeed :P

And next up, if mindless rump shaking is not your cup of tea, then here's a more stately, refined version of what models should be doing instead of being racist and stooopid online. And of course, it's being splashed with water in slow motion.

SPENELO APPROVES :D

Thursday, 3 May 2012

VIDEO: Cisse's Wondergoal!

I don't usually post soccer things on here, but I'm a big soccer fan. And although I'm a Liverpool fan, this goal by Papiss Cisse was a WONDROUS strike!! Y'all will appreciate it, in HD, I'm sure!! :D

ALSO, look out for EVA CARNIERO at 01:10! My post about her has shattered my hits records on this site over and over again!! Thanks Eva. :D




Also. In other news. Fiorentina's coach, Delio Rossi, got fired for attacking one of his players after they were doing bad in a game. Stupido!!

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

VIDEO: Made In China

This video's been doing the rounds since last week, and I just couldn't resist the title. Haha.

I've got nothing against China, but you can't deny the influx of Chinese products and things in South Africa, when there is, in fact, a shortage of jobs and South African products on the shelves and being made...anyway....

This is a clip of girl that found out a hole new route to get home.